your room smells of hookers.
And success
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
