It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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