i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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