i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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