If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Randomize
