why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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