I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
