Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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