piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
