I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
