I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
