youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
