If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
