dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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