My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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