You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize