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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
