none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
