btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
