Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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