hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
