She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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