I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
