she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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