i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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