Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
