youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
