Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
