Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
This show inspires me to have sex in space
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize