...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
