i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
