I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
