he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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