do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
