I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
