Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
