haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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