Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
