I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
