I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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