They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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