the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
