Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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