forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
