So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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