Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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