It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
