I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize