let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
