I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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