Don't you send me to vm
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
