break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
