i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
