Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
