How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
