Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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