The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
