I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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