Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize