Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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