so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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