I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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