clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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