Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize