Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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