Sponge bath it is.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
