are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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