he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
