i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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