From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
