I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
